Understanding Her
Body Language During Your Date
As one of
the top television gameshow hosts often shouts “you’ve got yourself a date!”,
the hard part is over, hurdles have been jumped, Australian dating sites have
been conquered and you can now look forward to meeting the lucky lady. Body
language behaviours are guided by primitive parts of our brain called the
limbic system. Understanding these
automatic responses within a dating situation can be the key to deciding what
your date is feeling and experiencing.
Positive vs Negative
How on earth do you know if your date is
happy, or wants to cut and run. Well quite simply body language can be broken
down into positive body language and negative. Noticing that your partner is
moving towards you or reducing the space between you both is good news. But
even more subtle signs such as her feet or hips pointing towards is positive as
well as playfully playing with her hair, watch or jewellery. Extended eye
contact is also a good sign that she is interested and absorbed in you and what
you are saying, although looking down, acting coy and is being shy can also be
a good sign that she is nervous in your presence and likes you. However, your
date increasing the space between you during the date, conversation or even a
response to a single question can be seen as displaying negative body language.
If your date has crossed legs away from you, or has stiff mannerisms, arms
crossed or rubbing the back of her neck then these all show a lack of interest
in the current situation. The more obvious include, lack of eye contact,
frowning, closed hands and so forth.
Clusters
During your
date searching for signs and cues of behaviour can help with understanding how
the date is going and what she may be feeling. Groups of signs are called
clusters and these clusters can give you a strong indication on how the date is
going. A positive cluster of signs is suggesting your date is comfortable, it’s
going well and she is happy with you, your behaviour and how you are with them;
ultimately she feels safe. Negative clusters from, for example, the list above
then of course means her limbic system is firing cues in an unhappy direction.
She may feel uncomfortable, uneasy, lots of neck rubbing, or nose itching can
suggest your behaviour needs changing. But that’s ok, understanding these
clusters is your learning tool to change how you approach either the next date,
your next question, or change your behaviour in the current situation.
The Green Light
When learning the signs and body langue a top
tip is to subliminally attach her positive signs to a green light and her
negative cues and signs to a red light. From here as your body language
awareness develops when you’re interacting with your date, chatting with them
you can almost ‘see’ or ‘feel’ the green light, this is good news. The green
light enables you to continue down this line of conversation, or keep doing
what you’re doing, your date is more than likely enjoying your company and her
body language is telling you so. In contrast, when you feel or see the red
light then stop your line of questioning, or change your behaviour or body
position slightly to adjust your approach until you get the green light, a
quick flirt could be all you need to change her signs. It is possible for the
green light to reappear, if you have adapted to the current situation with the
date. This green light approach allows you to be more responsive and pick up on
your date’s body language and what she is telling you. By being more responsive
you are automatically suggesting you are sensitive, empathic and have good
awareness towards her in each and every date, this will be an attractive quality.
The green light effect also helps you to time questions better and suggest a
second or third during periods of ‘green lights’ where you date is comfortable,
happy and possibly more agreeable!
Eye Eye
The eye contact is a classic romantic sign
that is used in many universal situations. However eye contact can be confusing
because someone who isn’t making eye contact could be shy and unable to look
into your beautiful eyes for long. Or they may be feeling awkward and
uncomfortable. Therefore, using extremes is a good measuring tool, either
holding eye contact for long periods showing interest and intent or not making
much eye contact at all are often good indications that they like you.
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